It’s not sex, that’s for sure.
In fact sex can be sometimes the least intimate thing you will do with another human, which I personally find a bit sad, but that’s not the purpose of this blog.
Sex is wonderful and beautiful and powerful and all things great… don’t get me wrong please.
But when was the last time you looked in someones eyes? For more than 5-10 seconds?
When was the last time you stayed in the eye contact PAST that uncomfortable time line… you know… when you think ” Ahhhh shit they are going to think I LIKE them… i should look away, this feels weird” or the time when you think you should SAY something because the silence combined WITH the eye contact is painstakingly uncomfortable.
THAT’S the problem you guys….. we have made real human connection UNCOMFORTABLE. Is it because we have become so accustomed to our “fake reality” thank you social media…… that when we are challenged to just BE… pure and authentically OURSELF we are scared of what that might feel like?
Are we afraid we might FEEL something?? We are afraid of leaving our comfort zone… WHICH is the main hinderance in us reaching ALL of our goals… the fear of leaving our comfort zones.
I had a friend attend an incredible women’s only retreat last week in Washington and in a room full of 50 women the way they did group introductions was silent eye contact.
She explained it to me like this… 25 women on one side of the room and 25 on the other, we took a few steps towards one and other and when we met in the middle, we simply stood in silence and connected with each others gaze, and held it. Within only a few short minutes of no words, but REAL connection, the room was filling with embraces and tears. Some of us had never had anyone look into our eyes…. into our souls the way these new strangers were looking at us. The feeling of instant connection was vibrating through the room and by the end of the introductions I had never felt more connected and at home than I did in that room.
When she explained this to me I cried. It felt so real and so powerful to me and it got me thinking … when was the last time I looked deep into someones eyes… longer than comfortable? When was the last time I truly connected with another human.
We live in such a fast paced world with faces buried into phones, heads down, headphones in, minding our own business.
At any given moment somebody who is just CRAVING human connection is passing us by, longing to be acknowledged.
I personally make a point of making eye contact and smiling at every person I walk by, when I can. You truly never know who needs it, and it feels good… You guys it feels REALLY good to connect. We are all the same. We are ONE. we are HUMAN and we crave connection.
A study from England showed that 9 million people living in England would describe themselves as LONELY. Lonely… lacking human connection ..
THAT IS UBSURD, and so fucking heart breaking…THIS HAS TO STOP.
My yoga teacher Eoin Finn talked about this in a teacher training recently and used the term ” ALONE TOGETHER” …
The term really resonated with me, in a really sad way….
Are we creating a world where we walk around side by side… together… feeling utterly ALONE? Are we lonely?
Are we alone by choice? Are we avoiding human connection at any cost?
Can we change that?
Can it start today?
I challenge you, moving forward .. when you are out in society look UP, look INTO eyes… all the eyes… everyones eyes… Give them connection , even if they look away.. give them your connection, do not look away, you both need it.
I also challenge you if you have someone in your life who will experiment with you, sit in total silence, music is fine but no speaking for FOUR MINUTES and just look into each others eyes…
C O N N E C T. EVERYDAY